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Secrets of Effective networkers

By: Will Kintish

Do you ever get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach when you have to approach someone? In situations like these, does your mind go blank? This is not unusual.

That feeling is often the fear of rejection. When you feel afraid your emotions take over, you feel tense and your ability to think logically vanishes into thin air. And that is why you can talk to close friends without a care in the world but never know what to say when you meet new people. i.e. emotions cloud your thinking.

What is the answer to this challenge?

You need to take charge of your fear of rejection. This is a very involved matter and too complex for me to cover properly in an email so for today I can only give you some simple tips to point you in the right direction...

1. Imagine the worst case scenario.

Run it through in your mind. How will you handle rejection if it does happen? Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever does happen is usually not so bad after all. Once you accept this you will feel more relaxed and better able to deal with what does happen.

2. Decide what rejection means

When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as:

- People dislike me
- I am a failure
- I am not worthy of their approval
- I am not good with people
These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for you. And the strange thing is that only you can choose what rejection means for you. Meaning is a choice so why not choose more empowering meanings?

Such as:

- I need to change my approach
- I can get better by learning a better way
- He is having a bad day and is too busy to talk
Decide what rejection really means before it happens and you will feel a lot better about yourself if it does happen.

In the professional and financial world people have a preconceived idea they can’t possibly be good business developers in general and effective networkers in particular.

“You have to think like a sales person.” “You have to be outgoing, an extrovert, be the life and soul of the party.”

If people start thinking like that they are going to feel like this when they do take the plunge and actually accept an invitation.

Here are the secrets.

You do not need to be confident in the sense people see you as an assertive gregarious live wire. In fact people who behave like that invariably are bad networkers.

Personality traits

You need 2 things

! You have to get on with people; be friendly, welcoming, open and be prepared to give. Recluses and hermits make bad networkers!

2 You need to have good self-esteem and feel good about yourself. If you are that friendly person who wishes to build relationships, has an area of expertise you believe can help others, walk into that room head held high and you won’t be like the people on the edge.

Personal Skills

You need 3

1 You must ask the right questions

2 You need to listen carefully

3 You need to follow up opportunities in a professional manner.

I hope you feel better now. Even as an expert in a financial or legal area you can become a great networker. After all, what do you do all day but ask questions and listen…then act in your clients’ best interests.

Author

Will Kintish

UK leading authority on effective and confident networking

Lots of free and valuable information on www.kintish.co.uk